Chapter 5_The Comedy of Errors

Chapter 5

The Comedy of Errors

After a ‘puri-fied’ break, we woke up at 4:30 AM on day 4 and got ready for the next phase. The original plan was to ride to Dumka, Jharkhand, via Kolkata. There did exist a shorter route to Dumka; ‘Kolkata’ and ‘Howrah Bridge’ were the two magnets that pulled us into the longer route. However, based on the experiences from the first two days (and unfortunate nights) on road, we decided to halt in Kolkata (and not ride till Dumka on the same day). I had rolled out an intricate plan where the extra 150 kilometers could be adjusted over the ride days, without losing an exploration day in Sikkim.

We left the hotel at 7 AM and headed towards the Sun Temple at Konark. The route was a very scenic one, along the seashore, with pine forests on the other side. We regretted not having explored the route on the rest day. We stopped at a place to click some photographs and Khan identified the nearby resort to be the one where our very own DQ and Sunny Wayne stayed while in Puri (in the Malayalam movie ‘Neelakasham Pachakkadal Chuvanna Bhoomi’).

The route was a very scenic one, along the seashore…

We imbibed the beauty of the Sun Temple from the outside. We didn’t explore much there as we had a long day ahead of us, on road. Thorappan was delighted to see lime soda stalls near the temple. He had two glasses while the rest of us had one each; tea, lime soda and *censored* are Thorappan’s weakness’! From Konark we had around 50 kilometers on the State Highway. The roads were narrow, passing through busy little villages. One had to be very alert for gutters, humps, cows, goats, dogs and hoomans. We stopped at a road side restaurant for breakfast. We were the only customers there at that time. The food, which took a long time to be prepared (to the extent that our conversation went into the cliché mode of “has he gone to harvest the grains for the roti?!”), was really good and compensated for the long break we had to take.

Soon we were back on Asian Highway 45. Every passing milestone that showed lesser kilometers to Kolkata gave me a sense of ‘satisfaction’. There’s this signboard and milestone on the Perungulathur bypass (Chennai) which shows 1600 odd kilometers to Kolkata. During my college days in Chennai and random visits afterwards, I used to pass by this board and wonder how far a place Kolkata is and why anyone in Perungulathur would be interested in knowing how far Kolkata is by road. And now, here I was, a few kilometers away from Kolkata, riding the very same route.

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Out of Curiosity…

The Asian Highway Network (AH), also known as the Great Asian Highway, is a cooperative project among countries in Asia and Europe and the United Nations Economic and Social Commission for Asia and the Pacific (ESCAP). The project was initiated by the United Nations in 1959 with the aim of promoting the development of international road transport in the region.

AH 45 runs from Krishnagiri in Tamil Nadu to Kolkata in West Bengal, covering a distance of 1982 kilometers. It passes through Tamil Nadu, Andhra Pradesh, Odisha and West Bengal.

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Khan and Mahesh were ‘gone with the wind’ on the highway. The road was wide enough to play whatever you like. The first 100 kilometers went like a weekend. We stopped for chai after 150. After another 100 we stopped for lunch. We were at the Orissa-West Bengal border. At the restaurant we met a couple who were on their honeymoon bike trip, returning from Puri on their Mahindra Mojo. They gave us a few tips on the roads to be taken after Kolkata – a forecast of the thunderstorms ahead.

We imbibed the beauty of the Sun Temple from the outside.

With just 200 kilometers of ride left and half a day in hand, we were in a very relaxed mood. The free roads prompted us to try a few formations and record videos. I found pleasure in video bombing Mahesh’s solo attempts.

Thorappan had a Gopro camera mounted on his helmet; most of the photos and videos of the trip were taken on this Gopro. Thorappan is a very patient fellow, I should say. Over the 16 days of the trip, he had recorded hundreds of videos for us. I dedicate this paragraph to Thorappan.

At around 5, we stopped at a roadside tea shop for yet another chai break. The retreating sun adorned the sky. The setting was so beautiful that my body twitched (a phenomenon which occurs mostly when I’m happy and relaxed; not sure whether it is universal). We had another 80 kilometers to ‘Decathlon Howrah’ where we had to buy a couple of gears. The store would close at 7 and we had to rush a little bit to reach there in time.

I waited outside the store, while the others went in to get the gears. A little boy and his father walked towards me. The kid went around the bikes curiously. He enquired about the ride and particularly about the specifications of the Dominar. And then he made this statement which broke my heart, “Himalayan, Duke and Dominar are okay, but how did you manage to bring this FZ all the way from Chennai.” (I haven’t yet revealed this (underestimation) bit of the conversation to my co-riders; of course Mahesham would have had a good time teasing me throughout the trip!). The father prompted the son to invite me to their house, which he instantly did and I politely refused.

The retreating sun adorned the sky.

We booked a room on Oyo and entered Kolkata. As we bid goodbye to AH 45 and entered the roads of Kolkata city, the scenario changed – the obvious city traffic and the unique traffic rules. Vehicles travelling in the same direction would have to enter different lanes at junctions and wait for signals for their respective lanes to proceed further – an interesting way to control the traffic. We soon lost each other in the traffic. I followed Google Ammachi and headed towards the hotel. Then there came this sign board which read, ‘WELCOME TO THE CITY OF JOY KOLKATA’, and it was a joyful sight indeed.

With less than a kilometer left to the hotel, I lost myself in the labyrinth of a residential area; even Google Ammachi was clueless. I managed to find the place with the help of the locals; Khan and Thorappan were already there, Mahesh yet to be traced.

…‘WELCOME TO THE CITY OF JOY KOLKATA’…

I released myself from the riding gears and walked towards the reception. I was sweating like a horse. To my utter dismay, the receptionist informed us that there were no rooms available. Apparently, there were some technical issues with the OYO app due to which they were unable to update the status on it. I lost it, completely. I rang up OYO and shouted at them. I was very exhausted after the city traffic and I vented my emotions on the unfortunate customer care executive at the other end of the line. Bang!!! There was a glass door in front of me, which my sensory organs failed to detect. The rest of the conversation was done with one hand on the phone and the other rubbing the forehead.

Mahesh arrived; he had lost his way and reached a market, from where he had a tough time getting his bike out. The call with OYO went on for almost an hour, much of the time listening to their advertisement, being on hold, as they connected me to their various departments. Finally, we were shifted to a premium hotel, at the same price, as compensation. It was about 8 kilometers away from the first hotel. We followed Google Ammachi and pushed ourselves ahead through the traffic. Thorappan and I were together; we lost the other two somewhere in the traffic. On reaching the ‘premium hotel’, we were informed that they had no connection with OYO at present and there had been no such booking. A cross verification made us to realize that we had entered the wrong location on Google; instead of OYO 30062, we had entered OYO 3062. It was one of those moments in life when you were confused whether to laugh or cry. We tried contacting Khan and Mahesh; the call didn’t connect. We set the new location on Google and proceeded towards OYO 30062, hoping that the guys would call us on reaching OYO 3062. At a particular junction, we saw Khan and Mahesh on the other side of the road, waiting for their signal. Before we could call out to them, both of us got green signals and crossed each other in the opposite directions. (Does this remind anyone of any particular movie?)

Thorappan and I followed Google Ammachi and reached the location of OYO 30062; there weren’t any hotels there! It was a residential area; yet another maze. We kept circling the same road again and again, hoping for Google Ammachi to change her mind or a hotel to sprout out from the earth. There were many people sitting on the pavements, in front of their apartments. They seemed to be out there for their daily dose of post-dinner social interaction (a practice I would appreciate, if my assumption is right!). Khan and Mahesh soon joined us (they had contacted us after reaching the other OYO – the one with a zero less). We sought the help of the locals, who spoke to the hotel guys (over phone) and directed us to the correct location. If you think we reached the right location after that, no, there were two OYO hotels two buildings apart, and yet again we reached the wrong one.

Thus after a ‘comedy of errors’, we were finally in our ‘premium’ rooms. The ‘premium’ guys wouldn’t allow us to park our vehicles inside their compound and we had to bribe the watchman to sneak the bikes in. It was around 11 PM already. There had been plans of meeting my bong friend Apramit, and also trying out the much heard of ‘aloo biriyani’ at 'Arsalan' near Howrah bridge. The eventful three hours after Decathlon, led us to drop the plan. But Thorappan wouldn’t give up so soon. He decided to go on his own to the biriyani shop and ‘take away’ some biriyani (three cheers to Thorappan’s undying spirit).

Khan and Mahesh got a room on the first floor while Thorappan and I got one on the second. Khan and Mahesh were engaged in a serious conversation when I went into their room to get some of my stuff. Mahesh told me that there was something important to be discussed. He asked me to leave the stuff in my room and get back for the ‘breaking news’. As I climbed upstairs, I got a feeling that something was terribly wrong. Little did I know that what I was about to hear would change the course of the whole trip itself!

(to be continued…)